Givers Versus Takers

Simply said, each individual is either someone who selflessly gives or selfishly takes from another.  There is no such thing as a “both†as this is a personality trait that develops in the first 10 years of life and sticks unless the person comes to terms with their selfish selves which most cannot accept , let alone, objectify what they are really all about. After all, who would want to admit that they were an inherently selfish and angry person. That would be a tough one too shallow because itâ€s mean and wrong. 

However , due to our amazing brains , one’s “giver/taker†identity typically lives unconsciously in each one of us protecting that taker from looking into the mirror. 

So, are you a giver or a taker ? Let’s find out. If you answer yes to the following questions honestly , then you are likely a giver. 1. You commonly put other people’s needs before you and end up somehow suffering. 2. You consciously do not assume or expect reciprocity for your giving action. 3. You are generally humble to a fault. 4. You are a Humanist. One who sees the good rather than the bad in people .5. You feel guilt and shame when you feel as though you have hurt another 6. You don’t spend hours in front of the mirror trying to figure out how to generate the most attention to yourself. 7. You take responsibility for your actions and not blame others for any of your behaviors and 8. You own and don’t blame .

I’m not going to ask how you did. That depends upon how truly honest you can be with yourself and whether or not you can admit that your shit stinks too. 

Relationships with others become intertwined with these traits. For example , the couples who fair or live miserably yet together are typically the giver / taker combination. No surprise that the couples who last the longest and are the happiest are two givers. The Bonnie and Clyde , or dual takers , typically go through relationships often as frequently as changing the oil filters in their cars. They either split after screwing over one another or crash and burn together , hence the Bonnie and Clyde Type or plural takers. 

So, one way to ask yourself if you are maintaining “healthy†relationships with others is to ask yourself if your homies are givers or takers as compared to yourselves . Unless you are the kind of person who likes conflict and drama , then be and intermingle with fellow takers. If you want to have a beautiful life , then choose and become a giver and together you will soar. 

The old adage that opposites attract is certainly true. Opposites attract conflict and drama. And, if you are the type of person who lives for drama and conflict then date either a fellow taker or go for the giver/taker yin and yang. 

However , If you want serenity in your life then become a giver and surround yourself with similar givers and together tell the takers to hitch a ride far away from town.